The Transcension Project

This is the first ever essay I wrote in college. We were told to write a personal narrative, and it is still to this day one of my favorite pieces that i have written.

To know me is to know me by my soul. Not my body, not my brain. I was only eleven years old. I was captivated by existential dread and burning questions. I had an iPod and earbuds and played the song “Saturn” by Sleeping at Last. This was the beginning of my future; I just didn’t know it yet. I was eleven, asking what life truly meant. I thought things many others my age didn’t. I asked the hard questions that fill the population of Earth with a fear that cannot be described. What is eternity? What is death? Religion aside, what is life? Why are we born just to die? As the song “Saturn” began to play, the lyrics filled me with an indescribable fear. A slow melody that picked up speed as the song progressed. As the melodic speed evolved, so did my thoughts. What could “How light carries on, even after death” mean? Why do I feel so much dread? 

I was fifteen years old—my mother introduced me to the book, “Journey of Souls” by Dr. Michael Newton. This book covers hundreds of case studies of people put into a hypnotic trance, able to recall past, between, and sometimes even future lives. These patients are in a trance state, where they can remember their past lives, as well as visit the in-between of lives (in the afterlife). When past life regression was discovered, it was an accident. Hypnotherapy practitioners would regress their patients to their childhood or even the womb to find an explanation for their chronic pains. These practitioners quickly realized they could go further back in time than the womb. Dr. Brian Weiss, another author on this topic, had told his clients to go to the origin of their pain.  Little did he know, his client would be regressed to another life where the true origin of their pain lay. Suddenly, the client was describing the events of a non-modern life. I often wonder where I may have ended up if it weren’t for that book. Two hundred eighty-eight pages was all it took to change the direction of my life. 

 I was seventeen.  It had been six years now. I had long finished the book. The same song began to play. The difference is that this time, I had no fear. I listened to the lyrics. I felt the vibrations of the melody all through my body—a song written, held to the standard of being as beautiful as the moon. I listened deeper to the words, “How light carries on, even after death”.  I get it now. “How rare and beautiful it is to even exist” .  I truly get it now. These were never meant to be frightening lyrics. I was just not ready before, but I am ready now. I am now open to the beauty of what once caused me distress, even panic. It has been almost a decade since I first listened to Saturn by Sleeping at Last. I no longer fear death. I no longer fear emotional pain. It is growth; it is transcendence. Dr. Michael Newton, author of Journey of Souls, once stated, “We are divine but imperfect beings who exist in two worlds, material and spiritual. It is our destiny to shuttle back and forth between these universes through space and time while we learn to master ourselves and acquire knowledge”(Newton 275).  The words of this man will forever be latched deep in my soul. In my eighteen years in an earthly body, I have never gone through an event that did not have a clear lesson. I see the lesson within the pain; I know what I am being taught. “God is not He who is, but That which is” (Newton 97).  I have my answers now. The purpose of life is to learn. The point of life is not to be born just to die. I now know that everything is karmic, and karma will go through lifetimes to find you. As long as the universe exists, karma will always reign as the strongest force. Eternity is no longer fearful. God is no longer threatening. God is not one being; God is the light and essence of every soul to exist. It is the most beautiful concept ever to exist. It is the story of my life.