The Transcension Project

I have always said that pain is nothing more than growth. My purpose is to put proof behind those words. About five years ago, my journey began. Kind of. Truly, my journey began the moment I became aware. Aware of life- aware of existence. Further, aware of its finite nature. I have a very specific memory of this in my childhood. One morning before school started in elementary school, I had read a fear-mongering article on Google about how the world was going to end on September 24. It told me there would be an asteroid. That morning, I sat on a bench outside my school, just staring at the sky. It can’t be real, right? I rationalized with myself, I told myself that the sky would be dark, there would be warnings on our phones, and everyone would be preparing. 

Of course, the world did not end that day. In fact, mine had just begun. I was aware that I could die at any moment, by anything, anywhere. This was the birth of my existential crisis. I often tell people I basically came out of the womb already having an existential crisis. I quickly spiraled into this- I spent the majority of my late childhood and early adolescence in a constant state of panic. I would think about death, and I could get past that. Death is as natural as birth, after all. It was the topic of infinity that truly got to me. It was the idea of existence itself that pushed me into panic. 

Why are we here- how are we here- where do we go? I was raised loosely religious. My mother’s side of the family is Jewish, while my dad is Christian. I was raised Jewish. I went to Sunday School, Hebrew School, and we celebrated all the Jewish holidays. At a late point in my childhood, I quit going to Hebrew and Sunday School. I had no friends there, and I, quite frankly, never believed a single thing I was told. Maybe on some level I did- I was young, so I sort of just accepted that what I was told was the truth. It just didn’t interest me. God is all around us- he is the air we breathe- right? 

For maybe six years after I quit attending, I had no religious interest. In sixth grade, I was lonely and anxious, and people seemed to use me as a target for minor bullying. So, I switched to online school. I was told by those children that doing online school was going to ruin my life, and that I was running away from everything, and that I would never get into college. They could not have been more wrong about me. 

In seventh grade, I was now in online school. I still had no religious or spiritual interest, but I always knew there was something there; I just had to find it. My memory of the timeline does get fuzzy- but I remember the important parts. Covid-19 was the fuel that lit the final fire. I had already spent a long time in isolation, so quarantine was nothing new to me. I enjoyed being alone- I always have, and I always will. 

Autumn of 2020 was my turning point. I had been hurt by friends, love interests, and I simply felt a pull towards something. Existence is so odd- surely I have some form of power over it, right? I then turned to witchcraft. I practiced it, I read about it, and then it became my lifestyle. 

I had figured out what to do with my energy, but I was still missing the something that I felt was pulling me. I know I’ve said multiple times now that there were events that I credit my journey to- and they are all true- I would be different had they not happened. But this is by far the largest turning point in my life. My mother noticed my interest in the metaphysical- so one day while in a book store, she showed me Journey of Souls, written by the beloved Dr. Michael Newton. She explained to me how this book changed her life, and helped her get rid of her fear of death, infinity, and the paradox of existence. Without hesitation, that book came right home with me. I read, and I read, and I read. She was right. One book was all it took to change everything that I had built within myself from the moment I first became aware of life’s finite nature. 

Something. This was the something that was calling for me. It was like being given a missing limb. Very quickly, I had discovered my passion. Not only my passion, but my life’s purpose. I was sure of it- I still am.  From there, I continued to read and do research. I discovered Dr. Brian Weiss’s Many Lives, Many Masters. Each page of these books were like the reaffirmation of everything my soul already knew, that my body and brain had forgotten when passing through the veil to my earthly body. I knew what I was reading was real- and I felt a peace that I had never felt before.

Today, I can say I have no fear of death. Little me would think I’m lying because of how terrified and deep into the fear I used to be. It controlled my life. But, today I am free, and that is exactly why I have begun The Transcension Project. What I have learned has guided me through hardships and fear- and I know it can help others just as much as it helped me.

No one deserves to live a life controlled by the fear of death. I am here to show you that death is not frightening. Infinity is not frightening. Life is not frightening.

The only thing that is frightening is living a life in which we are controlled by existentialism induced fear.